I grew up hearing my dadi (paternal grandmother) say
Allah kisi da mohtaj na banaye
Na veliyan da, te nahi aulaad da
May God never make one dependent; neither on those whom one loves nor on one’s offspring
I’d wonder why dadi would say that
Why this became the prayer she found solace in
Dependency on any living thing is a disappointment
And to rely on anyone besides your Creator is foolish
But how naive must we be to believe that those whom we love owe us anything?
And then to believe that we are incomplete until someone completes us?
I came home from school one day, and found out dadi would be leaving to go back home in a few days
I held her hands in mine and asked her,
What will you do there alone? Won’t you miss us? Won’t you be scared, alone?
And dadi squeezed my hands tight and said to me
Yaad teh batheri aayegi, teh yaadein hi laikar jaraye aa
Kalleya iss duniya vich aye ne, teh kalleya marna ne
Teh fir, kalle rehn naal kera dar?
Teh jado Allah nu dost banaleya ne, teh fir kisi hor di zaroorat vi nahi
Of course I will miss everyone, and it’s the memories I am taking along with me
Alone we come into this world, and alone will we die
Then, what fear of living alone?
And when you’ve befriended Allah, then you need not anyone else
I think that a part of dadi’s soul resides within me
Being alone does not make me scared, it does not make me fearful
Because of all the realities of the world, the truest one is:
That you are here alone, and you will leave alone
I think about dadi’s words often
The relevancy of her existence was not reliant on those around her
She found peace in spending time with the Divine rather than with people
And perhaps, that’s why she left this world content, without dependency, with purpose
God indeed, did not make her dependent on anyone but Him — a status that I pray to achieve
